mohrbr

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A lovely bit of cabin fever

HW 29 BIG STORY CHALLENGE (or why I am a colossal clot)

I would first of all like to say that what i have written on post 28 is actually my revised draft and not the original one, which I changed after reading Simon’s comment. Hence my first draft,which i never saved on my computer, is now forever lost. I suggest using Simon’s comment as an indicator to how horrible my first draft had been. Once again sorry for the inconvenient mistake and I hope this would not alter my grade too much.

commonest from:

                  Mentor:Pithy! I love the reduction of an essay into a 140 word gist! Not an easy task.

                                     A unique and interesting angle of the sculpture which may reflect how you also see the world.

                 Protege:you say that a good life is “finding a purposeful & personal way to spend time” don’t you also relay on other people so it cant be completley personal

               Simon:

   Hello Mohr, Simon here once again. I’d like to start by complementing you on instilling something so monolithic into such a small space, you summed up your big                 story well and provided a feasible and interesting reason as to why you adhere to it.
That being said, There are about 173 characters in the abbreviation, significantly more than the assignment limited you to (almost 19% more in fact). I also find it difficult agreeing with your conclusion. You are not an existentialist, at least not according to this. According to this you are living in what I would refer to as “escapist fantasy/straw nihilism”, you understand that life has no meaning but still cannot convince yourself that you can live without meaning, thus you create a pretend philosophy as shelter from your true belief.
Your 3-7 word “catch phrase” is 12 words, that’s (on average) more that twice the amount you were told to use. It is also unrelated to your supposed belief system, it symbolizes boredom and angst, where your version of existentialism is more hedonism and forced ignorance. It is also a quote which greatly reduces its intrinsic value as a summery of YOUR belief system, you are trying to uplift your state of awareness, not absorb the dogma of others.
Overall I would say that you should
1. Try to either except the truth of the belief or except that your philosophy is flawed and work that into your writing.
2. Don’t waste writing on definitions, use your space wisely.
3. Be poetic, this should come from your right hemisphere.
4. Finally, come up with your own phrase, do as your big story claims and give meaning to nothingness.

P.S. I am aware of the inherent hypocracy in some of the things I say, I understand that I am not the one to tell you how to live your life, I am just trying to provide my opinion, what I write is in no way the be-all-end-all.

Good luck,

-Simon

My Comments on:

                     Simon’s blog: hello, i was wondering why you chose the word immortal of all words to describe people’s motivations. Is it because people strive to be immortal, think they are immortal, are under the illusion that an immortal being had created them? I suggest to either change the tense of relentless to relentlessly so there would at least be a correlation between relentless and immortal, or you can just replace immortal with a more self explanatory word.
I thought that your 3-7 words sentence seemed heavily influenced by futurism, however I did not feel that the idea of trust in the machine was that evident in your paper, hence making it unclear if the sentence is suggesting if this is how you see humanity or is this how nihilism views humanity. Lastly i think you choice of picture did not only break away from the all cliches but also clearly and simply explained nihilism. I personally connected it to the Cthulhu Mythos which often goes into great depth about how insignificant human beings are to the cosmos.

                     Naomi’s Blog: hi i just want to say that everything about your 140 words and 3-7 words highly contradictory to your essay. Your essay mentions on numerous occasions that you want to be a mom and a psychiatric for the criminally insane. How can you preach people to be free to attend and accept when you want to be some one who molds people, and labels people.

The revised (and only existing) draft: 

140 (~ish)-words abbreviation:

Existentialism=attaching personal meaning & choosing how to live regardless if life has no meaning. Good life=finding a purposeful & personal way to spend time

3-7 words abbreviation:

Everything is nothing with out us

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